Weight loss blog – Saturday May 1, 2010 (Entry #12)

Today I did Slim & Thin AND Sculpt & Burn together. Did a lot of stuff around the house today and didn't really want to work out. Needed to get the lawn mowed and Zachary wanted to do it for me. Lawn mower wouldn't start so I got all mad and need a new part. Definitely don't feel like working out when I'm in a bad mood, which I should because it releases endorphins. These are the kinds of obstacles and trials that get in MY way from exercising. We, as women, NEED to STOP letting our emotions take over of what's important, and THAT is our HEALTH!! SOOOO, I DID work out. I didn't start until after 7pm, but so what. I did both dvd's and a little over an hour later, it was still light outside and all was well with the world. Zachary went and borrowed his friend's parents lawnmower, so the lawn got mowed and I got my workout in. It really doesn't have to stop just because things aren't going my way. If I let stupid things like this keep me from doing what I need to do then I'll never get this weight off, life happens, BIG DEAL, you look at the problem, deal with it, and get your workout in. Even if we couldn't borrow the lawn mower, is it really THAT big of deal that I have to stop doing what's important, nothing could have been done about it at that point anyways right?? These are the things I am going to overcome through this year. I am tired of letting STUPID things get in my "emotional" way and shutting down.

Weight loss blog – Friday, April 30, 2010 (Entry #11)

Going to April's, and YES!!! I worked out!!!! :) Did the 32 minute Sculpt & Burn, boy the squats killed my legs today!! Could have easily said, "Oh I should let my legs rest, I'll just work out on Saturday." NO MORE EXCUSES PEOPLE!!!! Feel GREAT and proud of myself for not caving in. We also had a very healthy dinner, turkey burgers, broccoli slaw, and salad!! Was delicious!! And we had a wonderful time with the kids! Looking forward to tomorrow.

Weight loss blog – Thursday, April 29, 2010 (Entry #10)

Tonight instead of doing the Slim & Trim I did the Sculpt & Burn. Lots of squats on this one!! Great for the booty!! LOL I also walk/jogged to CVS and back again. FEEL great!! Tomorrow I have plans with my best friend, April to stay the night at her house. Finding balance is difficult as those of you that have read this could tell. I WILL workout before I go to her house. I made up a calendar of my workout schedule and every time I don't work out I give myself a :( NO MORE sad faces. I DON'T like seeing those.

Weight loss blog – Wednesday, April 28, 2010 (Entry #9)

Wednesday nights are church with the youth. And since I'm a youth leader I like to be there. :) Did NOT work out tonight either. I am going to sit down and make a calendar for the rest of the year and have all of this written on paper as well. With goals so I can actually see how much I'm missing to help me visualize what NEEDS to be done and the time allowed to get it done.

Weight loss blog – Tuesday, April 27, 2010 (Entry #8)

Well had planned on doing 2 dvd's tonight. The first dvd is Slim and Thin, the 2nd one is Sculpt & Burn. Had a youth leaders meeting over at church and did not get my workout in. Could have at done one of them, each are 30 minutes. NEED to find balance and NEED to realize that I CAN still do something. It's better than not doing any of it.

Weight loss blog – Monday, April 26, 2010 (Entry #7)

Did Slim and Thin dvd, and I DID walk/jog to CVS and back home. A total of about 5 miles!!! FEEL great!! Accomplished!! I LOVE it!!

Weight loss blog – Sunday, April 25, 2010 (Entry #6)

Was able to do the whole dvd again, pretty easy today, tomorrow I will kick it up a notch. Last year I marked off how far it was for me to walk/jog to CVS and back. It is 3.2 miles, I will do my 30 minute dvd, which ends up being 2 miles, and CVS.

Weight loss blog – Saturday, April 24, 2010 (Entry #5) 204lbs.)

Ok, so a week went by, which means 7 days of my first dvd challenge cannot be saved. Have a lot of work ahead of me.

Today I was able to do the slim & thin all the way through. Was VERY happy about this. It's 30 minutes, one of the easier dvd's I have but a GREAT start on a new life.

Weight loss blog – Tuesday, April 20, 2010 (Entry #4)

Bronchitis is kicking my butt still, finally got the internet today, need to figure out how to start blogging.

You will notice that the dates do not match up at this point. I wanted to start my blog, so I wrote everything down and am entering it all in now. Once I'm caught up the dates will match. This was my last blog until Saturday the 24th, when I finally started feeling good.

Weight loss blog – Monday, April 19, 2010 (Entry #3)

Bronchitis is STILL killing me. ONLY 1 more day of antibiotics, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY!!!!

Today I was up and down on the whole man thing. I'd be fine, then I wouldn't be able to stop crying. Right now I'm wearing my glasses, my eyes hurt from all the tears. Dry eye...I need to get the red out! LOL Trying my best to keep my sanity I guess. I really just wanted to slump on the couch and drown my sorrows and have a pity party, but I decided to get up and clean out that dreadful cupboard in my kitchen that I've wanted to clean out since last summer!! I guess being upset COULD have SOME perks. And even though I didn't feel like blogging either, I already feel better that I'm doing this. Battling with depression for years, sometimes you just have to pull yourself up and do things when you don't want to do anything but sleep.

So I wrote a sweet letter this morning before I left for work, and gathered up some of his movies and games that he had over here and brought them over to his new house on my way in. Still haven't heard from him. I told him he would never hear from me again in the letter, but I can't just sit by and let our friendship become nothing. So I sent him a text, “I really don't want to give up on our friendship, nameless, I've known you since I was 15, I know you're trying to hurt me, you have, if you don't want to be friends tell me to go away.” Almost 2 hrs later I got a text back, “I need space, I'm not trying to hurt anyone!” The exclamation point kinda implies that I was trying to hurt him, at least that's what I think. I could be wrong. Prayer, prayer and more prayer, even though I'm feeling a little angry, irritated, frustrated with God my own self. I have prayed for 12 YEARS for a Christian man, and I haven't met a single one yet!! I've prayed for my special friend to be saved for over a year, and nothing. But I guess that's why Jesus died, for us to have a choice. UGH!!!!! WHY WON'T HE CHOOSE???!!! I prayed that He wouldn't make me choose between them, with Him KNOWING that I would choose Him. So I did, and now I don't know if I'll ever get my friend back. Sometimes your parents made you do stuff that you didn't want to do, and you wish they weren't your parents, well right now, I kinda wish the Lord wasn't my Father.....but I won't disown Him. So I press on, even when I'm not even sure what I'm pressing on towards.

Quote of the day: “Victory belongs to the most persevering.” - Napoleon Bonaparte

Day 3: Coughing has overcome my ability to breathe. Tomorrow is a new day, I WILL be victorious!

Weight loss blog – Sunday, April 18, 2010 (Entry #2)

I sent a text to my whom I thought was still my boyfriend at this time. I asked him, “are you ever gonna talk to me again?”. He sent a text back, “I'm not good enough remember.” Haven't heard from him all day. I will just keep praying, but I know now that we are broke up. I miss my friend.

So, onto the rest of the day.

Don't look for a weight every day, THAT'S BAD!! I WILL NOT BE A PRISONER TO THE SCALE THOU SAYETH ME!! LOL

Today was still a fun day despite everything. Was able to keep my mind off stuff for a little while anyways. Still in the back of my mind, but today was a SPECIAL day. My other girl April, best friends since we were 8, 32 years this year! My girl/sister turned 40!! Her sisters and I went to a mall to go shopping and to get pedicures, I seriously needed one, but alas, shopping got the better of us, and my feet can still sand down a good deck! LOL

Anyways, bronchitis was still bad. Coughing ALL day, not breathing well, and ahhh the joys of having children and no bladder control. I SWEAR I could go to the bathroom, stand up, have a bad coughing fit and pee on myself!! BRING ON THE DEPENDS I SAY!!! LMBO

So Ann, text me at 10:30pm to tell me she did Day 2 of the “The 30 Day Shred”. ROCK ON ANNABELLE!!!! I told her I was still having issues breathing and told her what was going on about my man troubles, she encouraged me that I did the right thing by letting him go. I sure don't feel like it. I'm sad tonight.


Quote for the day: “You are the handicap you must face. You are the one who must choose your place.” - James Lane Allen

Day 2: Didn't even try (not a very good start)

Weight loss blog – Saturday, April 17, 2010 (Entry #1 204lbs.)

So Ann and I decided a few days ago, the day she encouraged me to write my story and exercise blog, that we would have a little friendly competition with each other, thatls what I though anyway. She thought it'd be cool if I mastered all of my exercise dvd's through my weight loss journey. Before she came up with this idea she told me she was going to start “The 30 day shred”, with Jillian Michaels from the Biggest Loser. I got it for her at the same time I bought mine. Well I was sick and asked her if she would want to wait until today so that we could start it together. She said, and I quote, “Bring it on sister.” LOL Now anytime someone hears “bring it on” it's a challenge right? Well she and I were emailing each other I had told her that my son said he wanted to start working out. He wants to build muscle so he can play football. Anyways, I told Ann that I told Zachary we were in a challenge together. She said, “didn't know we were in a competition!” I told her, “you were the one that said, “Bring it on sister!”. So this is how today's competition began. Bring it on “30 Day Shred”!!

So I'm sitting here with my work out dvd's. There are quite a few of them and I'm going to challenge myself to master these. Since I have so many, even if I mastered 1 a month it would take me over a year to do, so instead of biting off more than I can chew in hopes that I don't get overwhelmed I will list the one's I would like to conquer/master. This is going to be A LOT of work, I want to attempt to do 1 a month. A few of them, especially The Biggest Loser one's are set up into a 6 or 7 week program. Now the first one that we decided on IS just a month, hence 30 days. DUH! LOL The list will be as follows:

Apr – May: Slim & Thin w/Leslie Sansone, (3dvd's will be mastered in this time)

1. Slim & Thin

2. Sculpt & Burn

3. Shape & Firm

May – Jun: 30 Day Jumpstart, Biggest Loser with contestant Winners

Jun – Jul: 30 Day Shred with Jillian Michaels

Starting June 30, since Zach will be in Kentucky there will be 2 a day's. Walk/Jogging routes that will be mapped out with the car to get mileage. Will list the routes on a later date. 2 a days will go on until Zachary comes home, should be the whole month of July depending on when his grandparents bring him home.

Jul – Aug: Cardio Overdrive - The Firm

Aug – Sept: No more Trouble Zones with Jillian Michaels

Sept – Oct: The Firm - 3 dvd's will be mastered this month as well.

1. Cardio Party

2. Hi-Def Sculpt

3. Hard Core Fusion

Oct – Nov: Billy Blanks - Tae Bo T3, Also 3 dvd's in 30 days. 10 days for each dvd, this month will be rough, but I will be up for the challenge.

1. Dedication

2. Commitment

3. Empowerment

Nov – Dec: Barry's Boot Camp – As seen on TV, This will be training for hardcore training starting 2011. There are 4 dvd's in this. 3 of the dvd's have 3 workouts on each dvd. I will be giving myself 1 week to master all 3 levels of each dvd. On week 4 I will be doing the "Code Red 6 day Challenge" dvd. Then will take 2 weeks off of this challenge to enjoy Christmas and New Years and prepare for Hardcore 2011.

Now I KNOW one of these a month is CRAZY. I will have to push myself to the limits. Limits that I don't even know if I have yet. Actually now that it's all written down I am feeling like, CRAP, what did I just commit myself to?? I will never know what I am capable of unless I try.

I had to make a very hard decision. You see, I'm trying to live a good Christian filled life, and well, my boyfriend, now ex, is not a Christian. We met when I was 15, went to HS together and his dad, a WONDERFUL man was one of my history/sociology teachers all 4 years of HS. I didn't break up with him because I stopped loving him or anything, I've just been married before and don't want to end up in a divorce because our beliefs are so different. I was honest and very up front from the very beginning with him, the day I told him I wanted to be more than friends in hopes that he felt the same way about me. I told him, “I want a Christian man, one that will pray with me, read the Bible with me...” His response, “I will do whatever I have to for you to be as

happy as you make me when I'm with you.” I thought, “YES, I finally fell in love with my best friend! God FINALLY gave him to me after 11 long years!!” So I prayed, and I prayed and I prayed some more that he would come to know Jesus as his personal savior. I also prayed “Lord, YOU know if he will ever come to know you, if he will not have HIM break up with ME, and say that we should just be friends.” I prayed this KNOWING full well that if I broke up with him our friendship would be over. He's a VERY stubborn man. Well we were together a little over a year and he's never followed through. We got into a heated discussion, I tried to stop it cuz I knew he would end up saying something that would completely upset me, he got mad for cutting him off and interrupting him, and I told him, “it's because you're going to say something that's gonna piss me off.” Well he said it anyways, and I yelled at him, “This is why I second guess us all the time!!” He said, “well since you're mad I guess I'll talk to you later.” I said “fine, bye.” He said, “I love you.” I didn't say it back since I was mad. So I sent him a text about ½ hour later told him “I love you too, it's just not enough.” Didn't hear from him the rest of the night.

Quote for the day: “Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.” - Philosopher, Emerson Waldo.

Day 1: Bronchitis got the best of me, 10 minutes max was all I could do.