Bronchitis is STILL killing me. ONLY 1 more day of antibiotics, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY!!!!
Today I was up and down on the whole man thing. I'd be fine, then I wouldn't be able to stop crying. Right now I'm wearing my glasses, my eyes hurt from all the tears. Dry eye...I need to get the red out! LOL Trying my best to keep my sanity I guess. I really just wanted to slump on the couch and drown my sorrows and have a pity party, but I decided to get up and clean out that dreadful cupboard in my kitchen that I've wanted to clean out since last summer!! I guess being upset COULD have SOME perks. And even though I didn't feel like blogging either, I already feel better that I'm doing this. Battling with depression for years, sometimes you just have to pull yourself up and do things when you don't want to do anything but sleep.
So I wrote a sweet letter this morning before I left for work, and gathered up some of his movies and games that he had over here and brought them over to his new house on my way in. Still haven't heard from him. I told him he would never hear from me again in the letter, but I can't just sit by and let our friendship become nothing. So I sent him a text, “I really don't want to give up on our friendship, nameless, I've known you since I was 15, I know you're trying to hurt me, you have, if you don't want to be friends tell me to go away.” Almost 2 hrs later I got a text back, “I need space, I'm not trying to hurt anyone!” The exclamation point kinda implies that I was trying to hurt him, at least that's what I think. I could be wrong. Prayer, prayer and more prayer, even though I'm feeling a little angry, irritated, frustrated with God my own self. I have prayed for 12 YEARS for a Christian man, and I haven't met a single one yet!! I've prayed for my special friend to be saved for over a year, and nothing. But I guess that's why Jesus died, for us to have a choice. UGH!!!!! WHY WON'T HE CHOOSE???!!! I prayed that He wouldn't make me choose between them, with Him KNOWING that I would choose Him. So I did, and now I don't know if I'll ever get my friend back. Sometimes your parents made you do stuff that you didn't want to do, and you wish they weren't your parents, well right now, I kinda wish the Lord wasn't my Father.....but I won't disown Him. So I press on, even when I'm not even sure what I'm pressing on towards.
Quote of the day: “Victory belongs to the most persevering.” - Napoleon Bonaparte
Day 3: Coughing has overcome my ability to breathe. Tomorrow is a new day, I WILL be victorious!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment